North Carolina or Bust

It has taken our family two years to get over the Great Disasterous North Carolina Mountain Trip of 2010, but we finally decided to put a little trust in our boys and give them another shot.  We were driven by the fact that we were going to see Joey's brother and our sister-in-law and new baby niece and stay at the family mountain home in Fleetwood. The bigger boys were beside themselves with excitement. There was some confusion about exactly where we were going (i.e. "There are no woods in the mountains!"), but Alden finally put our destination and the painting of the home above our fireplace together.  Spencer was pretty much just assured that we would be going to see a train and asked questions for days..."Where is Tweetsie? What is North Carolina? Where is North Carolina? Is Uncle Tommy in North Carolina?  Is it our house?...Alden brought me his suitcase a week in advance and started "packing" which basically meant that he pulled out every single random small toy from the playroom and put it in a pile and followed that by a stack of early reader Spiderman books. The night before, I took them to the library to pick out movies for the ride and a stack of books. This experience was awesome. First, they helped each other pick the perfect movies with no complaining or arguing, and even better, Alden could read the titles and picked out books that he could read all by himself. Spencer went "all by hisselVes" to ask the librarian if she would find him train books without a mouth and I accompanied him as his translator (translation: no Thomas the Train).  We actually made it out of the house on time and everything fit into the back of the big bad minivan and we were off with fuel from a sinful ham, egg, and cheese biscuit and double fisted with coffee. 

Somewhere randomly in Tennessee, the family stopped to get gas and being the bigger guy with a group of guys, Daddy had bathroom duty and Mommy had diaper duty.  I should have known that something like this would happen, but my kids show back up to the car with gas station hot dogs for lunch.  Joey assured me that it was okay because they were "all beef, Bryan" hot dogs so not to worry about the pig parts I have avoided for years with Alden's veggie dogs.

Spencer, no one will be shocked, spilled his ketchup in his lap before the door slid closed and took out the all beef part of the hot dog to eat his ketchup and bread delicacy.  Alden immediately looks over there and says, "Oh, Spence, can I have that?!" Spiderman, who rode the whole trip in between them, refrained from the snack. I asked Joey why he fed them a hot dog snack right before lunch. He said it could be their lunch. I reminded him that he didn't feed Mom and Dad (I was terribly sad to be left out of that one, mind you).  So twenty minutes later and one town over...

We are eating again.  You know it's not a road trip without the Cracker Barrell.

And even more healthy food.  Spencer's second course choice was bread with butter.  Several pit stops later, a trip to Dunkin Donuts for even MORE bread and junk food, and yes, even a stop for dinner at Hob Nob in Boone (where the food was so amazing I couldn't stop eating to take a photo momento) we were where we were supposed to be....eleven hours later!  Only took us four hours over what the navigation system said it should have taken us. That is four hours worth of gas station bathrooms and food stops, folks!

All to meet this little gal. Worth all 660 minutes in the car! The boys were unbelievably smitten by their cousin, Wallis.
                                                                                                                                
                                                     
Spencer did not leave her alone from the time we got there until the time we left. He wanted her to go everywhere with him and, more than once, busted up in the room to see what she was doing.  The best part of the whole thing was the anatomy lesson. I have sort of been wondering about when Spencer would figure out that boys and girls were different. I mean, lets be real, it is not like I can take a shower or go to the bathroom without him busting right up on what is going on.  However, he has yet to ever mention that I am a girl.  Poor Aunt Nicole had to give him the little talk when Spencer finally discovered, upon busting up on Wallis in much the same manner during a diaper change, that things were a little different. She didn't have a "twistee turn around wee wee" (Note: That is not the term his parents taught him). Go Aunt Nicole, leave it to us to prepare her right off the bat in motherhood for how to answer all the important questions.
                                    

Wallis was not as used to the boisterous boy band that followed everywhere. She might have been just a touch stressed at times. I have no idea why she might have she might have felt this way?

It wouldn't have been the fact that they played ping pong off the second floor balcony for hours. I seemed to be a little concerned that the wall in which the ping ponging was aimed is entirely glass, and Wallis may have noticed that as well. Their father didn't seem to care and just tossed them back up.

In case you didn't believe me.
                                                 
I am sure she didn't mind the plays that Alden put on or Spencer's concert of "God You Are Strong" screamed from said balcony. Nor the running around with antiques. Nor the fact that Alden felt he needed to open every water bottle in the house and only drink them while they were precariously set up on the railing.
                                               
It would have nothing to do with what was happening to the other baby in the room.  I mean a little full on body tackle never hurt an 11 pound baby girl, right?

I am sure she wasn't stressed about the toys that started in a nice, neat Rubbermaind container and made their way to every inch of the floor surrounding her. This included and entire figure eight Thomas the Train track that made the travels. Please, doesn't everyone have to travel with their own set of train tracks? She was fine as long as she didn't try to actually touch one of them in which case, as Harrison so kindly demonstrated for her, one of the big kids might try to pull your leg off.
                                     
Or pin you down in a wrestling match.

                                              
There might have been a slight concern about Harrison and his apparent quest for Mountain Moonshine.
                                   
                                              
She was probably very thankful to Aunt Carla for not only bringing the giant tube tunnel, but setting it up all the way down the hall and spending years taking the children to the zoo where they teach you to scream when you go through tunnels on the train ride.
                                       
Yep, that is her little pink foot. Yep, that is attack of the Hare-Bear.
                                       
Well, ok. She is probably still recovering from the shock. It was a good introduction to the noise all things male in our family can make, and that includes every one on her Daddy's side of the family that came before the ones I helped create.

As only the second girl in the lineage of the 10 grandchildren and great-grandchildren of the ones that built this house for them, I think she is going to be just fine.  All four babies seemed ready to take their place in this generation of Mountain Home adventurers. 

We are beginning our own memories and learning about those that came before us...like how to play ping pong from the balcony...or drink moonshine?

                                               

Or having a long hallway of nothing to do but learn to crawl.

Or the fact that I actually slept with all of my children in one bed. Yes, one bed. There are two bedrooms downstairs and two upstairs, but the upstairs is led by a tricky spiral staircase. Not only were my boys a little scared to be up there alone, they all sleep walk enough into my bed at night for us to fear a spiral staircase in a strange place. Joey bailed on us and slept on the sofa. Alden slept completely sideways. Harrison was as good as he ever sleeps and as spoiled rotten getting held as ever. Spencer was everyone's cuddle buddy. Mommy spent the night moving from one side of the bed to the other to find room.  My favorite night was when Joey also fell asleep with us and Harrison started crying. He picked him up from the pack and play, walked over and handed him to me, and left to go and sleep somewhere else. Classic.

We did do a little more than cause trouble at the house.  The troops had become very restless. Uncle David decided that since we were going to be up there, we could sign for the biggest flat screen TV on the planet while we were there. Now, UPS and FedEx don't really deliver to the middle of nowhere and so he said that we would need to wait on the courier service from 11-3 pm. Well, that would pretty much be the whole day.  We had no food, didn't know whether to put the kids down for naps or not, and were frankly just stir crazy. Uncle Tommy finally took the hooligans out for a walk to burn off some energy and balcony shenanigans...and found the TV delivery guy. Free at last!!! We immediately drove to Boone for the trip to the Mast General Store and shopping...and the kids fell asleep.  So, Uncle Tommy and Aunt Nicole and Mommy got to shop while Daddy had nap duty and a whole hour of five bar cell service to catch up on his iPhone addiction. Once awake, we were off. I tried to get Spencer to take a photo in front of Boone Pharmacy. He refused and said he needed to take a picture in front of this sign. Lord only knows cause I for sure don't.

Pizza for the starving crowd.  Two hungry and thus forced to nurse babies with embarrassed mothers, one major melt down because Mellow Mushroom didn't have milk, orders of every type of bread they had to make my children happy, and adults driven after only ordering to change drink orders from water to beer. You know, a normal lunch for my family.

What else would you do after pizza?

So, yeah. That was about all we could handle for one day. 

The next morning, Uncle Tommy woke up on his 3_ th birthday with a fever, so it was up to us to brave Tweetsie alone.

                                       

42 degrees and raining. Perfect weather for an open-air train ride.

You can tell that the boys were really upset about the weather.  This might be because Joey and I ended up sitting by the open window because they boys said they were tired of getting wet. Alden enjoyed the cowboy and Indian show more than just about anything I have ever seen him enjoy. Spencer was stoic and quiet, which in Spencer world, means he was is in heaven.

                                                  

At least we were not the actors in the Wild West show.  

                                        

As much joy as Tweetsie Train brought us, we were thankful when she pulled back into the station and we could find a gift shop for warmth.  We not only let, but encouraged the kids to make purchases which shows you how frozen our brains were at the time. Presents for the crew back at the house; a tshirt, railroad signal night light, and a new smoothie mug for Spencer; and a harmonica and sheriff's badge for Alden.  Why a harmonica? Because Alden wanted to buy handcuffs...and a bow an arrow...and a toy pop gun.  We deserve parents of the year for convincing him to get a harmonica and a sherriff's badge.  I mean, really, can you imagine the rest of our trip when the ring leader was armed with a pop gun and hand cuffs?

                                                

One of these days, the boys will look back on photos from our trip when Alden was two, or maybe we will return, and they will discover that there is an amusement park and more gift shops and a ferris wheel and petting zoo and a few more shows up the mountain a bit. But in 42 degrees and rain, there is just a train ride and a gift shop. Done. They bought it.  We left. A $200 15 minute train ride later. And we would totally do it again.

                                        

We didn't want to forget that it was Uncle Tommy's birthday.  We stopped at the local Earthfare to get a cake.  I don't know why I put Joey in charge of this, but it is his brother, so I guess it just fell into place. Tommy got half a cake. Joey claims that was the best option. I think we then foiled the cake a bit more because of course there were no candles (I think Aunt Nicole rectified that) and the boys got into it before Uncle Tommy even had time to think about his candles. I might have made a big birthday mistake and let them have a sliver as I was trying to keep them out of the other chocolate bars Aunt Nicole had gotten Uncle Tommy for his birthday request. Where there is chocolate, Spencer will sniff it out! Luckily, there was enough cake left to celebrate.

                                              

                                              
Uncle Tom wearing his birthday Tweetsie Sheriff's badge. I am sure that is exactly what he wished for when he blew out his candles on his half birthday cake that had been attacked by mice. Thanks for good humor, Uncle Tom!  He knows that these boys have a literal gene to love food from his side of the family.
                                              
The next few hours were time for more shenanigans, more cake thievery, and some good old family time.  Love our time without TV or computers or iPhone service. Uncle Tom read about four train books while laying sick on the sofa, the library books were read by Alden who wore out of trying to read and passed the duty to Mommy, we got in a round of the Squirrel game, opened the door to go in and out of the deck about a hundred times to look for ravens and fawns, and watched babies discover wide open spaces and each other.
                                                

     

     

And of course love on our beautiful little neice.

                                                
We spent some time looking at the countryside and getting my feel for my strange obsession with old barns. The boys saw cows and horses and even a few buffalo along the way.
                                       
                                       
                                       
I fell in love with this house that was for sale.  My husband lets me take a photo and tells me to make sure I get the realtor information. He even points out that we can see it from the family home.
                                        
I should have learned by now that my husband is not going to drop a few hundred grand on random farm houses while on vacation. But, it was fun to dream for a minute. And then it was time to pack up.  Everyone is preparing the house and fulfilling Uncle David's request to take a photo of the thermostat to prove we had turned it off, when, oh yes, I know you were missing it....we had the annual family vacation drama crisis.  Could this gaggle of boys ever go on a vacation without visiting the local hospital or pharamacy. I dare say, that would be dull!

So, while packing up the clothes, I don't hear Harrison grunts or babbles for a moment. I have been a Mom long enough to know that a quiet boy is a boy causing trouble.  I discover that he is chewing on something (everything goes in this child's mouth) and fish it out to find HALF of a pill. It is nothing that any of us take, and I have no idea what medication my child has ingested. I get as much out as I can and run screaming to Joey. We know enough in the middle of panic from our cop and medical show viewing training to save the dissolving pill in a glass for future identification.

With our one bar cell service and no land line, we call poison control. Poison control panics and tells us to immediately get to the nearest emergency room, call 911 on the way in the car, and make sure to keep him awake. She asks our location and all I can say is, "The middle of no where!"  Poison control googles what she believes to be the closest hospital in Jefferson while I, Uncle Tom, and Joey are literally throwing all of our stuff into the car. This is coupled with the fact that Spencer finds some sort of vintage glass object belonging to his great-grandfather and breaks it on the rock floor. Uncle Tom's efforts turn to cleaning up glass, poison control has me on hold and back and forth to ask questions not understanding at all why I don't recognize this medication, I am now hyperventilating, and Spencer is screaming and grabbing my leg because "Uncle Tommy said no to me."  We jump in the car and I start to call 911. NO CELL SERVICE. NONE.  Thanks to navigation systems, which I now recommend anyone pay the extra money for, we were able to search for the hospital and plug it in for directions. STILL NO CELL SERVICE. Harrison is so sleepy. I am in the middle of the bucket seats, no seat belt and on the floor of the van literally slapping him (gently) in the face to make him stay awake. Joey is driving about 90 miles per hour and rolling down the windows hoping the 30 degree temperature will keep him awake. What are Alden and Spencer doing? "I am cold!"/ "I can't hear my movie."/ "I am hungry. Can you get me a snack?"/"My stomach hurts and I need food." SERIOUSLY??  I think I might have shouted at them that I didn't care and to shut up (a big no, no word at our house). They didn't...until we saw the sirens.  I have never been happy to be pulled over for speeding, but now we are.  Because we are racing against time here, I tell Joey I will just hop out and tell him what is happening. Only the child-lock is turned on the door and I can't open it.  Joey is literally panicking and just sitting there and I am screaming, "Let me out Joey! Let me out!"  I finally just start to crawl out of the window because that is what parents do that think their infant is being slowly poisoned and passing out.  I am screaming at the cop, "We are taking our baby to the emergency room. Call 911 for us!"  He is fantastic, tells me to start driving, radios the hospital, gives us a police escort the whole way, and even has another officer block the traffic at the entrance so we didn't have to wait for the light. He runs into the hospital with me and Harrison and gets me to triage safely. Whew.

Again, no one knows why in the world we do not know where this pill came from. I am explaining that it is a family home. Uncles, aunts, cousins, wives, friends, everyone goes there. It is basically inhabited by men most of the time (minus Aunt Valerie occasionally I suppose) who probably don't clean all that well and that pill could have been there from Grandma in 1992 for all we know! Luckily, we have our little glass of pill scraps and our local little hospital is able to determine that it is arthritis medication akin to aspirin. Not the best thing for him to ingest, but not the worst. He will be okay.  A stomach ache, bad diaper, might bleed a bit more if cut, but okay.  Dodged. A. Bullet. Well, one.  Then, the policeman showed up and asked Joey if they could step outside and talk. So, now I am a bit worried that I will have a baby in the hospital and a husband in jail in Jefferson, North Carolina. He told Joey that he should try to call 911 the next time, Joey told him about the service situation and proved to him that we had indeed tried to do that very thing, and said he would pay any ticket if he had to because he knew he was speeding and didn't exactly care.  The very kind policeman just let us go on that one. Dodged. Bullet. Two.

Poor baby Harrison fell asleep and fell asleep hard after his drama. I know that I should put trust in the little hospital, but the fact that they told the kids they had a robot that moved on its own and videoed patients because it was such a small town doctors had to remotely tell them how to treat patients from all over the country made me a little nervous. I kept turning around in the car and checking to see if he was breathing in case they had come up with the wrong diagnosis.  We stopped to eat in Elizabethton, Tennessee at the Beef O'Brady's, and the fact that the lightest sleeper ever slept through all that finally just made us wake him up to check on him.  It takes a while to get over that level of worry and adrenaline. 

                                       
We might have regretted that decision. He cried basically 85% of the way home because his stomach hurt. Refused to eat dinner when we stopped in Chattanooga.  And somewhere around some kind of Dunkin Donut coffee pit stop the arthritis aspirin started to make its way through the diaper.

                                      

All in all, however, I will say that my boys did a great job in the car.  I could not have asked for better travelers.  They might have convinced Daddy that we can take another road trip. Clearly though, on all our vacations, we need to check for two things: cell service and the local hospital address. We also learned that the mini van is no joke and pulls through in a high speed chase.

We ended our last stop out our favorite restaurant in Chattanooga because after a day like that the only place to eat is a brewery! And, of course, Spencer and Alden got to stare out the window at the Chattanooga choo-choo because all of our days somehow end in or on trains.

Thankful for healthy babies, community helpers, and DVD players with head phones in cars. Home again, home again, jiggity jig.