Mini Me: October 2013

That pretty much sums it up right there. Since Joey has convinced Spencer that every picture of Wonder Woman is Mommy, just think of this as the look on my face all day, every day of my life. Yes, I did have three boys literally every waking moment of my life for four weeks straight in July with no more than three hour stretches of sleep in between the precious comatose moments I am allowed after laundry, dinner, and sundown. As if it is not enough that I live, breath, and wipe these tiny wonders during all daylight hours, they seem to find there way into my dreaming subconscious as well. It seems that life, like the laundry pile, always fills back up just as soon as you think you have something accomplished. The unexpected highlight of the past few weeks was discovering my favorite wine was being sold at Costco only to come home and read that drinking alcohol gives you breast cancer. For the love! How am I supposed to survive goldfish murders, two hour town wide searches for lost Wolfie Dog Dog with three kids in car seats, running over the babysitter's car, emergency room visits, dog incontinence, house construction projects gone awry, and the constant battle to not owe more money to the cuss jar than the mortgage company without my one measly glass of afternoon wine? Where is the fair and just world! Needless to say, I confess that I have had to turn to TV, ok reality TV, ok seven seasons of Keeping Up with the Kardashians back to back, because that is about all the mental challenge I can take while not getting cancer and trying to detox from the daily dose of Clorox fumes as a result of Spencer's desire to paint anything and everything on all of his clothing and Alden's lengthy daily commitment to dental hygiene.

We are currently neck deep in the BIG K! The first of school is always a challenge for my most excitable boy who tends to evoke calls, emails, and conferences from teachers regarding his behavior. I swear at one point I was convineced that we were headed straight from 2 year old preschool to juvy. I must say that I was not only just super happy to start off with a clean slate and know not one single person in his class, but I was also sweating a little when she sent home the packet that included the behavior chart. I should know better than to say anything, I should knock on wood, I should throw salt over my shoulder, but this little delinquent is a behavior dream. I mean not only is he not getting in trouble, he is coming home with these notes of Outstanding Behavior and Making Good Choices. He is also saying things like this:

"Spencer, you are in preschool and I am in Kindergarten. My school is much harder."

"Mom, don't worry about Spencer. When I was really little, like 3, I used to cry about school, too. But if you just give it time, he will get better."

We started the whole experience with the posting of the class list. On this day, which really meant nothing to us since we didn't know any students or teachers, we all gathered at the school and they were able to play on the playground and the school hired a shaved ice truck. So, that night, I try to have a heart to heart with Alden about his knew friends and how he needed to be nice to everyone and not be afraid to talk to people and how they will be his best friends for a long time, etc. I told him (the stolen Momastery line) that they were all a gift from God. Alden says, "Do you know what else God sent us? He sent us shaved ice!" Yep, okay. Thank you for reminding me you are only five years old. Good night, go play.

Flash back to Kindergarten tour last Spring when my sweet boy was terrified of being separated from his parents and herded around by fifth graders (I taught in a 4th/5th school, I suppose I totally get that) and swore he was never going to go in that building again. This time, for Meet Your Teacher, we go armed with Wolfie Dog Dog, prayer, and a lot of preparation. We meet in the auditorium for a mini-speech and then, gulp!, they come to take the kids to their teachers while the parents get the general informational and pep talk. There are a few kids screaming bloody murder and clinging to legs and pulling on chairs. I am trying to distract Alden with all kids of silly stream of consciousness thoughts like, "Hey, look! There is a teacher! She looks cool."

Luckily, he hopped right up with Wolfie and just went despite all the crying and gnashing of teeth. Loved it, loved the fact that Mommy took him to get Superman Ice Cream afterwards, loved the teacher, loved the room, and loved the kindergarten popsicle party that night. Turns out we knew one little boy from t-ball and that is all it took...and a lot of frozen dessert.

That night, Alden was determined that he would go and buy an apple for his teacher because "that is what they always do on TV!" We also went to the florist to pick out a bouquet. It took him thirty minutes to pick out just the right flowers. Apparently, Mrs. Letson had told Alden her favorite colors were blue and green. He would only let me get a bouquet of blue flowers.

As our luck would have it, they were also thirsty blue flowers. Alden was determined to hold and repeatedly drop his own apple. So, on the morning of the first day of Kindergarten, Mommy is up at 5:00 cooking the celebrated first day of school pancake breakfast and sending Daddy on a covert mission to the Western to pick up a new apple and some replacement dead hydrangeas.

We made it! School bus plate and placemat included.

Last year a doctor...this year a policeman...

We had mapped it out that it would take somewhere around 20 minutes to walk to school with two kindergarten legs, distractions, and pushing a double stroller with two siblings. Daddy and Mommy got to do a solo walk on Day 1. This has become my very favorite part of the day. It has been beautiful and sunny everyday since school started and my buddy holds my hand and talks to me the entire half mile. Precious moments.

For the first two days, you could walk them to class. Alden was greeted by his idols and our across the street neighbors. We ran into friends from church and friends from the popsicle party and friends from our street. We truly live in a Norman Rockwell painting. There are crossing guards that ask about our dog and family, waving principals greeting us, the man that we see walking to work every morning, the old friends we stand around and drink coffee with after the bell rings, and the new friends we have met that are on our exact same schedule. I can walk over to the Piggly Wiggly and grab milk or bread that I forgot on the way home and shout quick conversations to my neighbors through their car windows. I get to be room mom and volunteer in the library and meet Alden for a bit of lunch every now and again. Yep, pretty perfect. Ironically, the school mascot is owls.

The classroom theme is owls. Hey, since I will never have a Chi Omega legacy, I think this is it. I have been feeling very at home amongst the owl paraphernalia.

We are in a carpool with another family that also has a three year old and baby to haul to pick up and drop off every day. Our first thought was to walk to school and drive home. Only the car pool line took me 45 minutes when I could have just walked in half the time. So, we decided to walk home as well. Only Spencer can't make the walk without a complete melt down because he has been woken up from his nap. After three LOUD screaming fits outside of the school, carrying him home twice, and having him sit in the middle of the sidewalk and refuse to move, we decided to drive to our friend's house that lives around the corner and walk from there. So, Spencer still complains about the 50 foot walk or so around the corner. The girl we take home has a broken leg and has to also ride in the stroller. So, out with Spencer, in with Ada. Spencer is not benevolent and screams. New school, bad impression. Out comes Harrison, and in comes Spencer. After three weeks of carrying Spencer, holding Alden's hand, and pushing a three year old and six year old while carrying two backpacks...we went back to the car in the afternoons. Joey loves me enough to keep at least one boy at home while he gets ready for work in the mornings. So, my walk is peaceful with only a single stroller and the afternoons are a lot less chaotic. Until today, when I think I just found out that I am going to be also "carpool walking" some classmates of Alden's to school. The more the merrier!

Okay, so there is soccer practice, and twenty minutes of reading, and a math workbook page, and violin. I have determined that the turning point for Alden was getting exactly 12 hours of sleep. Therefore, I am a bedtime Nazi about getting in the bed at 7:00. That is a heck of a lot to do between 3:30 and 7:00 if you also want to feed and bath them. By the grace of God, we manage, and even sneak in Tae Kwon Do. I finally figured out how to tie the belt which meant that Alden could earn his five stripes and go to testing.

We all got up and out for 8:30 am Saturday testing to see Alden receive his yellow stripe belt in Tiger Cubs. It was a proud moment. Alden got his new belt, and Mommy learned that it Velcroed and she never had to tie a belt again! The most challenging task in my life thus far I believe was finally over. Alden has since earned two more stripes, so we are heading up to the next color already. Love my martial artist!

Working backwards from the present, we had yet another ER visit for the gaggle of boys. One night, while Alden was Tae Kwan Doeing with Joey, Harrison was having a baby meltdown in my kitchen floor while I am trying to make dinner. We tried pots and pans with wooden spoons and snacks and just about anything I could find to work on happiness until his dinner was ready. I mean, I didn't want to hold him because he might get burned on the stove, right? I literally cooked with one leg on the oven door just in case he got near it. And then I took one step to the right to wash a tomato. Bam! Who knew a 12 month old could grab an over door and open it in five seconds. They can, he did. I yell, "NOoooooo!" and grab for him. He looks and me with determination through tears that I will NOT keep him from getting in there and throws his hands down to prove it. Checkmate. Hand covered in second degree burns. Off to the hospital.

Harrison and I spent a couple of hours in the burn unit. I felt horrible and vowed never to wash tomatoes again. Everyone was very understanding except for the transport guy who suggested that next time my child was fussing I should try to distract him with a toy because that is what he did with his two year old. Thanks Captain Obvious for that advice. I'll try that next time with my one of my THREE children. Needless to say, they had to lance all of the blisters and wrap the little hand in one layer of burn medicated bandage, polysporin, two layers of gauze, and a gauze glove. I had to change these daily because there were strict instructions about sanitation and preventing infection which was our worst fear. The next morning, we are shoe shopping and Alden says, "Mom, why is there a hole in Harry's other hand?" What! Yep, the doctors and dr. Mom had totally missed a giant blister that had manifested itself on hand number two and apparently been popped somewhere on the shoe store floor by my crawling child. Oh the germy horror! I call the burn unit who tells me to just go ahead and sterilize the bandage scissors and remove the skin and wrap the second hand. Well, you do what you get told to do.

Harrison loved removing his bandages of course and dragging them across the floor. It was pretty hard to put them on by myself wearing surgical gloves and keeping him from moving the hand. In a moment of desperation, I got Alden to help me. Man, that kid was great. I seriously got annoyed when Joey helped me, in what my estimation was the wrong way, and just called in my Type A son to take over. Of course, Alden thought this was the greatest thing ever! We had two trips back to the burn unit with Harrison. I was totally convinced on the first return visit that they were going to take him away from me. For some reason, we had to go to the depths of the hospital to the area reserved for the cast of Honey Boo Boo apparently. They come in and started photographing his hands and make me give a detailed description of the event again even asking me to describe exactly what food I was cooking. I thought all of this was some horrible quiz because they were reporting me. I find out that they alway photograph burns in case a plastic surgeon is ever needed and that the nurse tech was just hungry for lunch. I literally cried happy tears of relief from the stress on the way home. The second visit went much better. They said we had taken good care of him and he was released from burn unit care. I had all the boys with me and they were scurrying around like little ants as kids do when you make them wait for an hour on a doctor. Harrison was the worst. He was climbing me, he was opening doors, he was hiding under the counter. The same helpful toy suggesting transport guy said, "Wow, I can totally see how this happened now." Yep.

So, if you can find a silver lining in our month of prize fighter hands, it was that Harrison learned to walk. I mean, it probably hurt like heck to crawl on his hand. Since he is not one to sit still, I guess he figured he best be getting on to figuring out another way to get around. In the midst of all of this, he gets a huge rash that I also had to address with the burn people (can I keep looking worse??). They had no idea what it was, so we had to leave the hospital to go to his pediatrician. Strep throat. He has had his hands bandaged for two weeks; he has stayed at home to keep him from crawling on germy floors and getting infections; his hands have been washed and rebandaged twice to three times a day--how in the world did this person get strep throat??

But then again, you never know the kind of crazy stuff that goes on around here.

With all of this craziness, it might be shocking that we decided to attempt something that few parents of tres boys ever attempt. They had been telling us it was okay, every time we went, but we were skeptical. We took our kids to a, gulp, nice restaurant. The question of whether they would embarrass us or whether they would leave a $20 grilled cheese on the table was looming. We went and we broke Mama's big rule: we handed them all iPhones at the dinner table. Peace and bliss.

Alden said it was the best meal of his life!

Harrison hung in there.

Alden told me that my outfit was ugly and Joey asked me why I was dressed like a librarian. So, this is the only time you will ever see me wear this outfit. I was also told this particular night not to ever, ever dress my oldest son and his younger brother alike again because people would think we were "stupid." Someone spent a few minutes in time out thinking out the use of the words ugly and stupid in reference to his mother.

Even Mr. Picky ate his entire meal. So, they were right. We can go to there five-star nice restaurant with three kids. We just go at 5:00 and armed with iPhones!

So, one day it dawned on me. Harrison can walk! Harrison can now go to the park and do something other than swing and sit in his stroller. This child loves, loves, loves to be outside playing. He runs as fast as his little legs can take him every time we open the door to the house to try to get out there, but much to his chagrin, we can always beat him there to close it or catch him and bring him back inside. Subsequently, due to the major wailing and gnashing of teeth, we must find opportunities to let the boy be a boy.

Alden can not only change bandages! He can help me swing his brothers. I am really liking this five year old thing. He told me the other day that he figured out laundry. You put the white stuff in a pile and the dark stuff in a pile. If I wasn't so completely worried that he would either flood the house or shrink all our clothes, I might just make him take that over as well.

Another super fun end of summer event was a picnic and bluegrass band at the library. Oh, and yes, our families' favorite thing in the world, a food truck festival! We blew it out on buffalo chicken grilled cheeses, Spencer's always quesadilla, and threw a little lettuce in there with a salad to try to balance out the grease. It is bad when you have a family of five and not enough hands to carry the food in one trip to your blanket. Of course, the drawback is that the cupcake truck cannot be ignored. Cupcakes all around.

Watching big brother and the "big" boys climb trees. Spencer said,"But Mommmm, I'm a big little boy!"

A little boost from Mom. I couldn't help the pitifulness of those little legs trying so hard to figure out how in the world the others were getting up there.

We had almost completed the bucket list. The one things left was blueberry picking. I was a little afraid to do it all by myself, so I waited until a Saturday when Daddy could join us. It was very much the end of the season, and the berries small, but everyone had a great time nonetheless. I forgot the sunscreen and bug spray, but we all made it out alive and with two giant buckets of blueberries. We are fruit junkies, so that is about a week's worth our little fam.

Interestingly, getting water out of the water spout was probably the highlight of the trip. They always drink a ton of water when there is a spout they can use themselves.

Spencer was able to meet his favorite animal. This tiny kitten named Ghost was handed over to us when I had to take the worn out little boys inside for a while. I put my allergies aside momentarily to help Spencer love on this little guy. It was only after we held and petted him for about five minutes that I figured out how many fleas were on him.

So July and August just flew by, and now it is October, and I don't know what has happened since then. But, suffice to say, our Summer Fun List was more than complete minus a trip to the beach which we traded Daddy for allowing us to construct a new playroom and two bathrooms. The good news is that Mommy was having so much fun, or at least spending so much time directing fun, that there was no time to document details. So, the rest of the summer in photos...