My camera is broken. I am not happy about this. Mainly because it was a nice camera that was a gift and I am pretty sure that my significant other is not in the mood to buy a new one right now. So, I have had to rely on my iPhone for photos. There are, therefore, a tremendous lack of photos around here. Well, comparatively. So, these are some snaps from the phone from who knows when this Spring/Summer that tell more of a story of our lives than I thought.
You got a little taste of pajama boy in the last blog. Here is the photo to prove it. Yes, these are Christmas pajamas. He loves his Christmas pajamas, and of course as you might guess, he has to pick out his pajamas "All by myself!" It is really not worth a screaming fit to worry about red and green long sleeves in July. In fact, we do not wear short sleeve pajamas at all. That is really unfortunate since that is all they sell in little boy pajamas in the South in the Summer when it is 90 degrees! If you dare to put short sleeves on him, he cries and tugs at them and says, "They won't come down! They won't come down!" This might be followed by,"Wolfie doesn't like this shirt." Love the displacement of blame. Oh, please note the best part. They are on backwards because, yes, you guessed it, "I want to do it all by myself!" Again, is it really worth the battle to turn it around? Nope.
This photo also tells the story of the drawers. There is no way to put a safety latch on the kitchen drawers in my house. Not that it matters because they just take them off anyway and get into whatever they want. But, for some reason, they love this drawer. Every single day, both boys at the same or alternating times, love to take everything out of the drawer and drop it on the floor. And what do I do? I pick it up. Love how I am teaching them zero personal responsibility by making them clean it up themselves and totally condemning their future wives to a lifetime of exasperation over their lack of appreciation for drawer organization. Needless to say, it does house their bowls and snack cups so I guess they can take it out all day long if they want. It used to house the syringes we use to give Spencer his medicine, but after about sixty to one hundred sixty times of picking up 20 pieces of multiple 5ml syringe parts off the kitchen floor, I finally got the brilliant idea to move them. You know what? They never touch any other drawers in the kitchen. There are nine of them! A strange but very convenient habit I suppose.
Mr. Merry Christmas has also learned to open all the doors in the house. Joey left for work this morning around 8:00. By 8:30, I texted him that we needed to install more chain locks to the tops of the doors. He has all sorts of excuses for going outside. Sometimes he needs to get something from the garage (never a good sign), sometimes it is because Lucy is in need of food or water (it took me 45 minutes to pick the 5 lbs. of dog food out of the mortar between the bricks the other day), he needs to check on Reese's Pieces (more about that later), or some random task that now involves turning on the water hose incessantly. Luckily, we have the "beep, beep, beep" alarm that alerts me to his little escapes. Note that he does not listen at all anymore so standing at the door and yelling threats of what will happen if he does not get in the house does nothing. You should hear what I come up with. I got so desperate the other day I shouted, "Wolfie will have to go in the dryer!" What does that even mean??? He had been upset by some commercial for washing machines earlier in the day that involved washing a stuffed animal. Clearly, he saw my bluff because he kept running. The only way to get him back in is to chase him down and carry his 30-something pound tushie back in... and directly to time out.
Summer = Desperation. There are so many hours in a day. There are just so many. Some days more than others. Those days with more hours are also days when you don't have Mother's Day Out for weeks and weeks. You know it is bad when you decide one day to get in the car and drive 30 miles just so you can play in your mother's backyard because it is bigger and has different toys...and they are not even at home! Yep, I did that. Then, we broke into her house and "borrowed" peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. Now, I went because I was thinking that it would be a place where the boys could run and play and just go wherever and I could sit back and relax.
A whole yard and Spencer finds the damn stairs! We could have stayed home for this and saved gas.
What really is great is when you have other parents who are also running out of things to do with toddlers when it is already too hot to play outside and you have already gone through every toy in the house twenty times. Then, you just do the same things at someone else's house and it seems all new again! Love that trick. But, everything is better with a friend, right?
Naps. Oh my oh my oh my oh my! Naps. I hate nap time. Why? Because it is the sequel to the movie War of the Worlds. Do you know that Alden is sick everyday? Yep. He is so sick that he can't nap. He dramatically coughs (no comments about where he got the dramatic part from) and tells me he needs to "spit up." I tell him if he is sick then he should get some rest. He says that is ridiculous because you can't sleep when you are sick! Mommy is so silly! Really? I can't wait to go and visit the doctor for our three year check-up and ask her what to do when you are sick? Yes, I do want to prove that I am right to a three year old. After books and begging for more books and going potty and lullabies and stories...then he messes around for thirty minutes...then he has to be let out to go potty again where he wants to sit and read a book for a little while. Then, the battle continues. I am making it sound mild here. It really is just parent torture. Exhausting. So, you are feeling all smug and thinking that he is ready to give up his nap and I need to accept that? Nope. This is what happens (see above) the second you give up and decide to go and do something. This child will jump, shake his head, sing, talk, and poop just to try to keep himself awake. I swear he has trained himself to poop at exactly thirty minutes into nap time everyday. Just to challenge me.
I don't really know what this is about, but it was just hilarious that he got the whole ensemble correct. And that we stood up on top of the fireplace to show it off. This is my BOY. Trucks, construction, and dogs. That is all in the world that excites him.
Okay, so sad news. One morning, Joey informs me that one of our koi has gone to a big fish pond in the sky. Oh, sad, I think we lost little Sal may he rest in peace. No need to tell Alden. A fluke, right? Wrong. I had a babysitter that afternoon. As soon as I come home, she informs me that one of the fish is "sleeping" in the koi pond and that Alden wants me to wake him up. Whoops! So, now he knows Glennie has bitten the dust. I text Joey who replies, "What the hell!" The whole house goes into emergency mode. I now have to confess to Alden that Glennie is indeed dead. Then, I try to explain dead by saying that Glennie went to be with Jesus. This was very confusing because it was followed by a series of, "Why?" questions. As this was our first brush with death, I thought, oh, no, the rest of his life depends on this moment and what I say. Not so much. I finally just give up and tell him that Daddy is going to fix it. So, Alden gets on the phone to Daddy shouting, "It's an emergency! It's an emergency! Glennie is sick. Come and help her!" Yep, she is pretty sick and about to go to the landfill hospital. BUT, Daddy, who has already left work at the text, shows up with the Fish Doctor (this is for real)...and a bag of new koi. We try to convince Alden that the new koi, who is like 1/8th the size of Glennie, is Glennie all better. Now, anyone ever met my child? He did not buy this for one second but sort of just agreed to go along with it and look at us like we had lost our minds. Unfortunately, Mookie is missing at this point. Fish Doctor finds the corps under a rock. Determination: Death by Daddy putting too much tap water in the fish pond because he forgot to turn off the hose last night. Know what Daddy guilt is?Joey just blurts out, "I'll get you a turtle!" And so, since he dug the hole, had had to leave work early again the next day to get...
Reese's Pieces. (He is on the rock. It is kind of like Where's Waldo to find him) I asked Alden what he wanted to name the turtle. He said something along the lines of wabgagokooka. This is what he always does when you ask him to name something. Just makes up some nonsense word as if he has never heard a name in his life. He did this for a month at Christmas with the Elf until finally he suddenly announced his name was Sam. Same here. After a few minutes thinking in the tub (isn't that the best place to think?), he said he wanted to name him Reese's Pieces because that is what E.T. eats. Alden Joe has never had that candy in his life, or seen it, but that is what he named our turtle. He checks on him day and night. We have a spotting every now and again, but mostly Reese's Pieces just lives under the rocks with Robert Redford. Yep, you got it. I was reading the Robert Redford biography and Alden caught on. He told Joey that that was Mommy's friend. It just so happened that we got a bunch of new fish that week and he named one Robert Redford.
Alden was so excited to go to his first T-Ball game ever. We were all set and he was talking a mile a minute about his glove and his bat. We drove up to the ballpark and guess what? No one was there. Mommy had the wrong date. Well, in my defense, they cancelled practice and I didn't know it, but still, I was the worst Mommy in the world. He just walked on that empty field with the most pitiful look on your face you have ever seen and burst into tears. I told him I would get him ice cream and he told me no. He said he wanted baseball. I finally got him in the car and took him to get the ice cream of all ice creams to make up for my guilt. His one tiny serving of vanilla with two gummy bears that he usually gets turned into a cup full topped with all the gummy bears he wanted, brownie, chocolate syrup, and three kinds of fruit. He did forget about it for the moment, but this is what I hear all the time, "Mommy, remember when you messed up and no boys and girls were at T-Ball?" Every time I get him dressed to go he reminds me.
He did get to play eventually. He is the youngest on his team. Basically, this means that Joey has to play T-Ball as well because all I hear from Daddy is, "He doesn't listen!" He wants to play batter and right fielder at the same time. He hits the ball and no matter how much you shout go to first base, he runs after the ball to bring it back to the coach. Joey practiced with him though and he actually made it to first base a couple of times this week. Of course, he joined another little boy who refused to leave first base, but we only care that Alden followed the rules. I think that he spends most of his time being redirected to appropriate places. He can hit though! And shout out to Mom who has now found out she can as well. I have been dying to go to the bating cages, but asked Joey to throw me a few in the front yard and was able to knock them out...with a T-Ball bat, but hey, still better than I was in high school P.E.
Not all messes in this house start with "A." Spencer is finding a way to do his share. This is how my life works. Trying to cook dinner. Alden hauls off to the bathroom removing every piece of clothing as he goes. Spencer sees the opportunity to climb the blasted stairs and babble his way through the kitchen. Mom gets Alden securely on the toilet and goes to shut baby gates to kitchen thinking Spencer will be safe because she hears, "Mommy! Come wipe my bottom!" Lovely. While I am doing this, I hear screaming. Spencer screams at every little bump, so I complete my task and go and check on him while Alden is telling me to put his clothes back on. No yelling, "I'm cold! I'm cold!" I then see an open oven door. See screaming baby. Did not take my masters degree to figure out that now Spencer is suddenly able to open up oven doors and tried to check on dinner for me. All in a matter of seconds I tell you. Spencer now goes with us to the bathroom.
Spencer had his 15 month GI visit. Looks like we are hanging on to the medicine and the pacifier. We had a trial of stopping just one medicine, and it was not good. We had a trial day of no medicine at all and it was even worse. The baby who is never fussy suddenly became absolutely pitiful. So, medicine is back. Dr. King also tells us that the paci is the only thing that makes him feel better...that and food. We wondered why he eats so much. The doctor says that eating makes him feel better because he is swallowing. He has moved from the 10% to the 50% in three months! Although he is still in a good weight range, he said that we had to not worry about the judgement of having a big kid with a paci or we would just have big kid period. It is the paci or too much food which will make the reflux worse. So, you will continue to see Spencer and his best friend. If you don't like it, then you can live with him without it (Those were Dr. King's words).
Alden loved playing in the kid pool at Helen's house, so I thought I would get him one. I went to the very scary Wal-Mart alone at night to buy a big plastic one only to not have it fit in my car and then wait in the very scary late night return line at customer service to get my money back. I found an inflatable pool that I thought would work great. Blowing up this thing with a bicycle pump while your kids were already inside it was just how I needed to start of my morning. It wasn't 30 minutes later, while still int the midst of some strange desire to use tools and complete DIY projects, I was putting together the See-Saw when Alden decided to use the needle-nose pliers to cut a hole in the pool. He just came right over and said, "I cut a hole in the pool." Well, great. With a duct tape patch, we did enjoy Alden taking the hose out of the pool to be a fireman instead of filling it up and Spencer standing outside the pool and staring at it for a full hour before it deflated under the duct tape patch.
And there you go. Feels good to air our dirty laundry.
