Truth or Dare

This blog is dedicated to Matt and Paul who say that people are not honest about their children in their blogs. They say they only put the perfect photos and neglect to admit all of the not so perfect moments before and after the photo was taken. So, I bravely present to you the honest truth: While my boys are the absolute love, light, and joy of my life, it is possible that I am absolutely going to loose my mind at some point during the next few years. Especially since I am with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. There are a few examples of why caught on camera in the last few days. If you are indeed a blog poster whose children are perfect, please, oh please, come and tell me how you do it! As Joey says, "Parenting is not for sissies!"

Look who can pull up on the train table now. It doesn't matter how many toys you give Spencer that actually belong to Spencer, he wants the toys that belong to Alden. It doesn't matter how many toys you give to Alden, he thinks that he can share NONE of them with Spencer. So, here is what happens.
Baby Spencer takes the entire track off of the table and captures Sir Topham Hat. Alden is napping.

Alden is awake. Alden is playing trains. Spencer wants to play trains. Now, here is where I could end this blog entry. My precious eldest and adorable baby playing trains together. Even I tried to believe in a Christmas miracle. The truth is, such a Hallmark Hall of Fame moment rarely really exists in my house.

Spencer dares to grab Salty. Spencer eats Salty.

"No, Baby Spencer! No! MY TRAINS! Don't eat them"

...And here we are. Time Out again. Despite my creative song lyrics we sing daily, "Don't hit with your hands, don't kick with your feet, use your words, that's really sweet" somehow Spencer still got a swift bop on the head and Salty pulled from his little grasp.

Happy to not be in time out.

This is one of the 100 things I have broken down and done while raising my children off the list of the 101 things I said I would never do. Bribe him. We have so many stinkn' bath toys they are coming out of our ears. But, in an effort to get my child to behave, we bribed him to earn any toy that he wanted if he had a whole day of no time out. He picked these bath toys. Now, Spencer cannot have these bath toys at all! Even if they float by him in the bathub, he is not allowed to touch him. He can only touch the specific rejected animals Alden picks out for him. The selection changes daily, so you never know which toy will cause a meltdown from which child. One mad that he can't have it and the other mad that he doesn't want to share it. I may be bald by the time I am 32 from pulling my hair out.

And then, there is the iPhone. At one point, my sweet husband bought me an iPhone. I know that it was mine and that I had control over it. I was able to email and call people and even use an app or two. Then came the day I had the brilliant idea that I would download learning apps for Alden. We would always have it with us, it kept him entertained, he learned. And that is when I lost my iPhone privileges. Alden dares to say, "My iPhone!" if I try to use it. He knows how to get to apps, play his games, change my wallpaper from photos of him and Spencer to photos of just him, and can watch Youtube videos of Frosty the Snowman over and over. He has complete and total power over my phone and somewhere along the line I have let him! On the upside, he can recognize a trapezoid at age 2 from app games. However, just when I am learning to put my foot down to make one phone call to Daddy in the car and take a break from having to play the Thomas the train theme song or Jingle bells, Spencer has acquired an iPhone fascination. The baby cries for the iPhone! If I have it, he wants it. If I give it to them, they are happy. And there are so many times that desperation will lead me to relinquish or surrender anything to make them happy. It is so bad that Joey briefly actually considered getting me an iPhone 4 and giving my children the old iPhone. And then we realized how insane that sounded. So, if you email me and I don't reply, you call me and I don't answer, you text me and they get erased before I ever read them, this is your answer. My phone has been hijacked, and I am still in negotiations to get it back.

I am zookeeper Annie. That is what Alden has called me. I get to build animal houses, play with animal figures, make food for animals, and even give them a sip of my morning coffee. Oh, and did I mention that Spencer is not allowed to play. Sometimes, Alden will bring Spencer another toy from his toy basket, sometimes there are physical altercations, sometimes there are tantrums, and on a good day, we just ignore Spencer is even there. But, much to Alden's chagrin, Spencer does have to eat and have human contact with the adults in this household. So, I came up with the idea that we had to feed baby animals one morning. I told zookeeper Alden that we had to feed baby animal Spencer. He lovingly gave Spencer giant, heaping spoonfuls of yogurt. Please,explain to me why peace and brotherly love exist when we pretend baby Spencer is an animal at the zoo. And, furthermore, why this doesn't work when baby animal Spencer wants to play trains or bath toys.

There is some sort of unwritten rule around here. If I don't have anything to get done, both boys will take simultaneous two and a half hour naps. If I have something I absolutely have to do, there is no way that both are going to sleep at the same time. The good news is that Alden is a super duper napper. Every day without fail. I love him for that. Spencer, however, not so much. The good news on that front is that he is completely happy helping me sew as long as he can do the measurements.

And then there are moments, many more than the bad, that make me blessed and thankful that I get to stay at home with them and don't ever have to miss a moment of their little lives. Spencer's first Christmas gift! From his godparents, Lindsey and Paul, an animal puzzle. He loves it! He chews on it more than actually practicing eye-hand coordination, but loves it just the same.

The Mitchell, Fisher, and DuMontier crew. Every blog it keeps growing. I see TWO Mitchells, and TWO DuMontier's, humm...guess whose turn it is now. It is so much fun to have all of our kids growing up together. Who would have thought when we were freshman in high school giving each other Bath and Body works body spray for Christmas that this would be our Christmas party.

Elizabeth made a delicious dinner, but notice the table. I believe that there are many children and no parents sitting and eating. Parents are blowing and cooling cheese grits. What was the discussion at dinner? That one day they would be old enough that there would be a kids table...in the kitchen.

Another fun playdate with Sara and Helen. Helen has such a calming influence on Alden that I am considering asking her mother if we can just rent her from time to time to come over to play with Alden. Never in a million years would I have thought that all four of them would be hanging out reading books in a circle in the middle of the floor. See, I did find a Christmas miracle somewhere.

Spencer and Sara have really started to be fascinated with one another and interact. Spencer has decided that he wants the shaker instead of his rattle and would like to trade Sara.

And, there he goes.

At least he does the gentlemanly thing and gives her his toy to play with while he borrows hers. She seems okay with it.

Pacifiers are a chick magnet.

Playing together.

Another tea party. Alden loves having tea parties with Helen. He wanted to play tea party the whole time until finally Helen just looked at him and said, "I don't want to play tea party." Maybe that is what he needs. A woman, other than his mother, to set him straight.

Holding hands.

Playing stickers. Alden loves stickers. He is so happy putting stickers on a piece of paper. At first, I would try to make lessons out of it. I would make him categorize and put them in groups such as colors or type; I would draw habitats and make him put the animals in their different homes; or we would tell stories and I would make him sequence the stickers to go with the story. He soon figured out that I was actually making him do this and got sick of it. Now, I just get, "I do it all by myself!" Which means, I put stickers in random places on whatever I can find to put stickers on. So much for my masters in education. I get outsmarted daily by a two and a half year old. Every new day requires a new trick.This was hilarious. Alden and Helen drawing. Helen picked out markers for everyone and then carefully wiped off the easel to clean it so Alden could draw. Alden just waited patiently for her to clean it up and took his assigned marker. It is true! Boys will do anything for cute girls! If this had been mom, I would have given him the wrong color marker or not enough markers, and I assure you, I would not have cleaned the board fast enough nor would I have been the one that he would have let clean it in the first place.

Another moment that reminds me how much I love these little boys. I got my Christmas gift from Spencer this week who started saying the sweetest word I will ever hear.