Once Upon a Time my Mommy and I went to the mall to escape from this big Iron Bowl that everyone wanted to see. Is that like the iron skillet we use to make cornbread? So, while we were at the mall, this really nice man said he wanted to meet me. I know he really liked me because there were not any other kids around anywhere. He lived in a really pretty house with a big chair and lots of lights. He let me sit in his lap and told me that he was going to bring me lots of new toys on Christmas. Oh, boy! This was the best person I had ever met in my life, so I asked Mommy to have our picture made together. I didn't know when this Christmas was going to come. Maybe tomorrow. 
Nope. Christmas was not the next day. I still had no new toys. I had to find these curtains to play with in the living room. I got the idea from watching The Sound of Music with Mommy. I found out that you can hide under the curtains, and you can scream into the curtains, and you can pull really hard on the curtains. That's it. That's all you can pretty much do with curtains. Hope that Santa man comes tomorrow with those toys.
Nope. Still no toys. I got Mommy and Daddy to take me to the Hoover ballpark to play baseball. There is a lot of dirt to fall in, and there is a really fun home plate to sit on, and I got to wear my new sweatshirt jacket. That's it. There was absolutely nothing else to do. Guess what? Baseball season is over! I forgot. Okay, Santa...
Nope. Nothing today either. I thought that maybe if I started to use my old toys in a new way, they would be more fun. You can put them on your head,ummm, that's it. You just put them on your head. Nothing else happens. I am not sure that I like that old man at the mall anymore.
Okay, we got the Christmas tree. So, it's Christmas right? They keep saying Santa Claus is Coming to Town on the radio, so where is he?
Wait! I got a dog. Oh, no, that is just Lucy. I guess she is waiting for her presents, too.
Oh, my parents are so much better than Santa Claus! Look what has happened now. I just talked and talked about the Exersaucer so much that they brought in the Jumperoo! Oh boy, Oh boy! The jumperoo! I just can't even talk about it. It lets you jump, and jump, and jump, and jump, oh, and chew on the dragon fly and listen to Rainforest music. Oh, my, this is the best thing I have ever had in my entire life!
The first thing we did was visit this person's house. They weren't home, but it had a nice view from the window. 
After that, we rode the train all the way around the zoo. I was so excited because we were finally going to see the animals. I have never seen real animals before! But, just like that Santa person at the mall who has turned out to be a big disappointment, there were only animals made out of lights. They all think that I am not smart enough to know this, but this was the silliest thing they have tried to pull over on me yet. I was not going to tell them that I really liked it and had a lot of fun on my first train ride. I didn't want them to think that they had tricked me.
Here we are after our train ride with the light animals. We looked at the lights on the lake and visited the petting zoo. Wow, real animals were there! I was kind of too tired to look at them though. I hope they take me back some other time. I learned that the animals smelled really bad. Way worse than my diapers!
We saw this very handsome giraffe. I am sure you don't have anything like this at your zoo.
When we got home from the zoo with no animals, I got happy again. Even though it was way, way past my bedtime, I got so excited because Santa was there! Nope, it wasn't him after all. It was even better. My Grandpa had come to see me. Everybody says that they are staying at my house for Christmas. I guess I haven't missed it after all. Mommy and Daddy took me to church the next night. They said it was Christmas Eve. There was a Christmas pageant that was pretty boring, but there were some really neat things, too. Mommy had on a really, shiney cross necklace that was so much fun to pull on while they talked and talked. Daddy kept picking up this book and then starting to sing with Mommy. I really wanted to play with that book and rip out all of that paper, but they would not let me. I got so mad at them. That is when Mommy took me out of the church to visit with the people outside. We had a much better view standing up in the back of the church. We met up with Daddy to go and see the priest, Mr. Charles. He gave me a blessing and Mommy and Daddy a snack from a big cup. After that, we didn't stay anymore, and I went home, took a bath, Mommy and I read the Christmas story about Baby Jesus, and I went to bed.
It's Christmas! It's Christmas! I know there are toys in that big sock. What I don't know is why Uncle Tommy wants to take all of these pictures and no one is letting me get the toys out of the stocking. How long do I have to wait? Uncle Tommy was mad too, though, because everybody spent all of this time getting showers and putting on clothes. He said that everybody had to stay in their pajamas all day. Nobody listened to him. Even Aunt Nicole said that she was going to take a bath!
I am more of a follower than a leader, so I got good and clean, too. I was kind of stripped down and forced into the water against my will, but that is just kind of how things gotta go when you are six months old. They haven't steared me wrong yet, so I just go with the flow. I kind of liked the pajama idea.
Then, Daddy said,"Alden, it's time to open presents!"
Grandpa gave that idea a thumbs up. He armed himself with his camera. 
Mommy helped me with my stocking. I am so excited. I think I see something...
Please let me introduce you to my friend, Sophie the giraffe. I love Sophie. This is the best thing I have ever had in my life!
She doesn't mind at all if you chew on her, and she squeeks back at me when I play with her. Mommy says I can take her everywhere. This other thing over here is really interesting. I think I can chew on that, too, but I have no idea what it is. 
The last thing in my stocking was a book about farm animals. We read it to together. Wow, that was a great Christmas. I am so glad that Santa came and that I was patient and waited on him to get there. I never, ever doubted that he would come and bring me toys.
Wait! Hold on just a minute! You mean that on this Christmas other people bring you presents, too! They get hand delivered in your exersaucer. That makes me so excited that I think I just...
Yep. Sorry about that, Mom. Time for a new outfit change. Good thing I have more than one Christmas outfit to wear today.
She doesn't mind at all if you chew on her, and she squeeks back at me when I play with her. Mommy says I can take her everywhere. This other thing over here is really interesting. I think I can chew on that, too, but I have no idea what it is. The last thing in my stocking was a book about farm animals. We read it to together. Wow, that was a great Christmas. I am so glad that Santa came and that I was patient and waited on him to get there. I never, ever doubted that he would come and bring me toys.Wait! Hold on just a minute! You mean that on this Christmas other people bring you presents, too! They get hand delivered in your exersaucer. That makes me so excited that I think I just...Yep. Sorry about that, Mom. Time for a new outfit change. Good thing I have more than one Christmas outfit to wear today.
My turn to open more stuff for me! I like the presents with the paper. It is double the fun. Actually, don't tell anyone, but sometimes the paper is the most fun! Please try to ignore the outfit. I know, we are on number four. It is kind of getting embarrassing.
Wait a minute! Daddy took my toy away. He cannot play with my toys before me! It is the best toy I have ever had in my life! Even if I do have ten or twenty now. He must be checking for those BPA's. Don't worry, he doesn't really care about that stuff. All I have to do is start crying, and he will give me anything to make me be quiet.
There were just too many presents to open. It took us four hours! Uncle Tommy is really slow at opening his presents and savouring Christmas. I have news for him: When I take over, we are ripping that paper off as fast as possible! I had to stop a couple of times to take a nap in between. They let me save this really big one for the next morning.
Alright, I decided to do one more thing at Christmas. It got too hard to open these gifts and play with these new presents from Santa laying down on the floor. Plus, they were filling up so many trash bags that I was kind of afraid I would get lost in the wrapping paper. I figured if I was going to play with the big people, I better sit up. It is pretty tough to do for a really long time, but the world looks a lot different from up here.
Month six was pretty cool. Now that all the excitement is over, I will enjoy sitting around with Ted, play with all my new toys, and chill.
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