A Series of Unfortunate Events

A week or so ago, Joey had to travel to North Carolina to be with his family for his grandmother's funeral. I have a feeling that as a mother who raised four children primarily on her own, I believe she would have appreciated the antics of her great-grandson's and the events that transpired in that mere 72 hours I was left alone. With her passing, Joey and I came to the eery recognition that some torches have been passed. Our parents are now the grandparents, we are now the parents, and our kids are the kids. I am not sure I am ready to give up my role as a kid. This weekend proved that although I might possibly be responsible enough for my new role, I am far from comfortable with it.

Joey really wanted to get going on his drive and woke me up at 4:45 am to tell me he was leaving. Literally, as he is walking out of the door, the severe weather alerts start going off on our cell phones. Now, I have a huge fear: Weather, and more specifically, being alone with the kids during a major tornado. Keep that in mind. Learning we are under a tornado watch, I don't go back to sleep. Doesn't matter anyway, because I have a sick one year old who is up for the day at 5:15. Around 6:00, I decide to make a popular breakfast of purple grits and cheese toast with fruit. So does Spencer all over the floor. Which was the first of about fifty games of dump everything out of the box no matter what is in it. Master Alden woke up sometime later and immediately informed me that I had made the wrong culinary choice and, through a hysterical tantrum of tears, less than lovingly informed me he wanted oatmeal. Specifically, he then decided that he wanted grits, fruit, toast, oatmeal, and orange juice. Unfortunately for him, he does not live at a 24 hour diner nor does he employ "the help."

By 9:00 am, we had destroyed and completely disassembled the easel from last Christmas to the point of no return.

Spencer, who had suffered a runny nose and worsening cold and cough was now on hunger strike. The child that eats very little would now eat nothing and only drink apple juice. He screamed through all of our meals.

Snack time went just as well. This is my brand-new mango apple sauce carpet stain. There was an altercation between the applesauce and Spencer and the apple sauce did not fair so well.

At some point in the afternoon while I was taking a phone call and thinking my boys were happily playing, they actually were. The only problem was that they had removed every book, DVD, blanket, pillow, cushion, and actual shelf and piled it in a corner. But they were so, so happy! You just had to clean it up and let it go. Our day puddled along until I decided that it would be fun to go to Gigi's cupcakes and get a treat. Alden throws the biggest, screaming fit because he says cupcakes will only make our stomachs hurt and we should eat nonfat yogurt at Yogurt Lab. (Okay, probably true) I had a gift card and a plan and was determined that we were going to get cupcakes. I thought he would warm up to the idea once he saw the cupcakes, but he didn't. I finally gave in. We got the cupcakes to go and we went to get yogurt. The night was a rough one for Spencer. He just didn't sleep. Coughing, crying. Alden waking up. I ended up with Spencer in the other twin bed in Alden's room. At some point in the night, Alden started talking to Joey's Grandmother in his sleep (the one that had just passed). I have to say this was a little unnerving at 3:00 a.m. I just pulled the covers up and refused to open my eyes and never really went back to sleep. Finally it is barely morning, 5:00 a.m. and we are all up for the day. We all woke up with Spencer's cold.

Start to day two. Spencer was just as happy today as the day before about eating.

Everyone did help with the dishes though. Day two went along pretty well. I tried to get them to go to the zoo or somewhere, but Alden refused to leave the house. I stopped taking photos of the mess because the mess overwhelmed me. When cabin fever and morning sickness got the best of me, I came up with another brilliant idea. I told them we could go get a pizza and a new movie and come home and have a pizza party. Spencer is now hacking up a lung, Alden crying because he can't wear his pajamas to Costco, and all I want is a Sprite for my stomach. We make it there and they are out of pizza. I have no cash to get it by the slice. I am so sick by this point and almost stood there and cried that I would have to make another trip with these boys to Whole Foods. Then, I found one check folded in my wallet. I think God put it there because I didn't. I forget the Sprite. But, as luck would have it, there was enough change in the bottom of my purse and everyone wanted a drink if Mommy was getting one. I didn't even care. Hello first soft drink boys. Then, the real trouble started. I get Spencer in the car and he throws up. I get home and I throw up. We finally all get to bed after both boys screaming and crying for three hours and the tornado sirens go off. I now have both boys in my bed, still throwing up, when Alden starts. Oh, and I did mention there is a tornado warning. That is when you call Mom, at 1:00 a.m. for three hours while you watch the weather man and gather bicycle helmets and flashlights in between bathroom visits trying to get the other two sick people to sleep. Needless to say, Joey came home early and I did not leave the sofa for two days. I learned two things: First, when it came to an actual tornado crisis I was braver than I ever thought I could be. It is true that Mama Bear fears nothing when it comes to protecting Baby Bear. Second, I still need my Mommy.

Of course, as always, things started to look up and now it is a laughable memory. We found out that all we needed was a little soul food and the second trimester to roll around so that Mommy could return to a normal state of existence.

Babies started sleeping again with all of their comforts and treasures.

And, it never hurts to have a clown put a smile on your face.

Or a super hero to come and save the day.

The Post Christmas Blog

It is a great thing to log onto the blog and discover that I have plenty of company in blogging Moms who have just now started trying to filter through the chaos that was Christmas and make some sort of archival sense of it all.

You can't have Christmas without a ride to the North Pole on the Polar Express. We could have stopped Christmas right there. Spencer was in heaven. He loves "choo-choo's" more than anything else in his entire little world. He talks and talks about them. We have no idea what he is saying about them but "Choo-Choo" is repeated over and over. He carries his little trains everywhere he goes. To say the least, we have a 2nd birthday party theme in the making here. He saw the trains for the Polar Express ride and was absolutely incensed that he had to wait in line.

Looking at the choo-choos with "Aldey."

Holding his ticket and asking to get on the choo-choo.

Still talking about choo-choos.

The big kid was pretty excited, too.

Boys and trains.

The conductor finally lets us on our train car for the big trip.

Really loving the train!

All Aboard!

Spencer looking out of the window and pondering. Perhaps he wonders why there is no snow at the North Pole but there is a major interstate highway and a vinyl siding storage unit. Or perhaps he wonders how those two elves, who are bigger than Mrs. Claus, have been able to make all the toys themselves.

Yes, it does appear that Mrs. Claus is choking your little brother, Alden. There are no excuses at the North Pole for not looking directly at the camera when you are in the midst of the celebrities.

Santa who? We are much more interested in this giant cup of hot chocolate and double chocolate chip muffin.

The second Polar Express party. We went to the annual Polar Express IMAX pajama party experience. With the investment of one bag of popcorn both boys made it through the entire movie. I was so worried that it would be too long for Spencer. I was really impressed before I suddenly realized that the entire movie is nothing but one big train on miles and miles of choo-choo tracks. Spencer had not one bit of interest in Santa or that poor boy with the bell as long as both of them led to the train starting to move again.

...and more cookies.

Chased with more hot chocolate.

We literally had to beg Alden to go and see Santa. It wasn't that he was scared. He was over it. The jolly man had heard the list and sent the Elf on the Shelf. What more was there to talk about? If it hadn't been for the cookies and hot chocolate he would have abandoned the whole Santa party all together. Ice fishing was his choice activity of the evening.

Three guesses where Spencer wanted to spend his time. The first two don't count.

We really do have a lot of family. A lot of family is equivalent to a lot of presents. So, when the small stash under the tree started building to great mountains a week before Santa's arrival of toy loot, the parents made the executive decision to start the present opening a few days ahead of time. One grandperson's gifts a day. Grandma was first. Super excited about Spiderman pajamas.

Equally pumped about train and truck pajamas.

And then came the hooded towel. Okay, so it wasn't Grandma's fault. It was in fact, Daddy's. I know that my husband does not like to read, but reading name labels on Christmas gifts is sort of a must when you have kids counting and assessing each one to make sure they are being spoiled equally. Grandma wrapped the really great car towel for Spencer in a rectangular box. Using the dangerous mode of assumption, Daddy picks up the only other rectangular box underneath the tree and gives it to Alden. It is a stuffed raccoon. Alden is super excited! Humm, this is interesting. We have chosen Grandma's gifts specifically because we know that it is bath and bedtime and that everyone got a hooded towel and p.j.'s. At this point, Daddy decides perhaps he should take a gander at the name label, "To Spencer, Love Uncle Tom and Aunt Nicole." All hell done broke loose now! Seriously. You tell the three year old animal lover who sleeps with a small furry army every night, "Just kidding that toy is not yours. Give it to your brother. But, hey, here is a great towel."

The upswing is that it really was a super great towel.

With a super happy new pajama ending. Well...the raccoon is still a major point of brotherly contention. It slept with Alden that night whole stole it from Spencer's clutches after he fell asleep. Spencer retrieved it later and no less than pranced about with it in front of Alden until he noticed. Raccoon is again absconded to brother's bed. Then Spencer...lawyers have not yet been called to settle the case of whose property the raccoon actually falls under.

Grumps, Toni, and Uncle John came for a Christmas visit. This was the second gift day. This daily spread of joy worked wonderfully. The boys actually played with the one toy or showed off their pajamas because they were not inundated with a hundred at once. I am now having much more appreciation for Uncle Tommy's theory of taking hours and hours to open presents because you need to savor each one. This was our version, Uncle Tommy, and you are a very wise man. Grumps did some pretty super shopping, too. There was a Spiderman with his very own zip line web and a couple of new choo-choos. I guess I don't have to say which was for whom? Love that each boy also got their own tag reading system with some new tag books. I know it will shock you to know that Spencer loves reading his Thomas the Train story best. Alden thoroughly enjoys his Spiderman comic book. The stack of other options has thus far been left untouched.

Christmas Eve. As usual in my post-kid life, none of us can get our act together and someone (who remembers which of the four of us) threw a fit trying to get dressed and out of the door for church. We are late. The only seats left were in the choir loft. Next to the organ, behind the giant alter, and literally four centimeters away from the glass pitcher of consecrated Eucharistic wine and the Holy Bible. Not just any Bible, the big one that only the priest can hold and must be surrounded by acolytes with torches before it is read, the one proceeded by the cross in which we all bow as it passes by. Wine + Bread + Big Important Bible + Two little three year old hands that just really, really want to climb up on the rail to see the Christmas pageant. I have never, ever, never, ever been so nervous in my life. I kept holding his hands and he would struggle. So then I have to make the major parental decision of whether it is more of a threat to risk the hands alone or an accidental disaster from the fight to break free from Mom. The poor guy can't see a thing. He decides, we are in the choir loft people, to start kissing me repeatedly; he purposely sings an entire line of every hymn after everyone else has stopped so he can hear the echo; he pretends that he can read the leaflet, puts it down, pretends again; he climbs from lap to lap that little foot so close to that book. I have never been so glad to see the priest take that wine off that little table in all my life. We got out of there as quickly as humanly possible breathing a sigh of relief that we had not committed some major spiritual infraction or had to show up the next morning with the biggest tithing check ever written. Crisis, by Christmas miracle, averted.

Back home to the stuff that is okay to spill all over the floor.

Spencer pretty much saved time by just eating the icing and sprinkles directly. No point in bothering applying them to the actual cookie.

Well, he thought that part was pretty good, too.

While there were still a few left, Alden put out Santa's snack. Just because I have nowhere else in the blog to sequentially document this story, I will put it here. During the weekend, Alden wanted to play Christmas. He said, "Cousin Katie, you be Santa and I will be the kerchief." What?! It took me a minute to realize that this is what he picked up on from 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. "And I in my kerchief and Ma in her cap had just settled down for a long winter's nap." I asked him what a kerchief was and he told me that it was someone who put on pajamas and went to sleep. Considering that the main part of Alden's life is spent picking out pajamas, discussing what pajamas he wants to buy next, wearing pajamas, or crying because he has to take off pajamas for regular clothes, I began to understand why this line had such significance to him. Alden played the kerchief.

Makes it all worth it when you hear, "Mommy, this is everything I ever wanted!!" A robot dinosaur with a man in it. Santa is totally the bomb for finding that request I must say.

He knew just want to do. "Ball!"

When you have to open the present, you have to use any tool you can find.

Stocking hunt.

Bubbles make Spencer so happy. He really wants to learn to blow them himself, but he puts the wand in his mouth to blow the air. Then, he gets distracted because he kind of likes the way they taste. Really hoping that these were non-toxic bubbles. Alden is very proud that he has learned to blow spit bubbles. Yea for that.

Remote control train.

Remote control corvette.

Thomas of course. They have moved in. This train has traveled for miles and miles and miles carrying its little passengers.

A really loud set of drums from Uncle David. We sort of all enjoy that one. I just wish I could figure out how to get it back to real music and off the animal sounds.

They are fine with any sound. Finally an excuse to bang something with sticks and Mommy can't get mad!

"I'm not sleepy, Mommy. I don't need a nap."

Merry Christmas to us! And we thought we were just getting each other a hot water heater. A little Christmas surprise for Mommy and Daddy. Well, a big Christmas shocker for Mommy and Daddy, but the best out of the blue life-changing thing that could have happened. At the latest appointment, the tiny blob is now a little less of a blob with arms and legs. It was kicking and literally jumping around its little home waving its arms. Watch out world, there will be three of them!